‘Being a Man for Others’

MADISON  It seems rooted in their nature that men spend their energies striving to be “men of action” — focused on “getting things done” in their daily quest to achieve higher and higher levels of success in their professional and personal lives. Yet this Lent, the rector of the Cathedral of St. John the Baptist, Paterson, is urging Catholic men to think about being less concerned with what they do in life and more concerned with what they become — men, who sacrifice for others in their mission to participate in God’s redemption of the world.

About 200 men came to the sold-out event to listen to Msgr. Geno Sylva, the cathedral’s rector and diocesan vicar for special projects, deliver that message during a Lenten retreat for men that he led March 22 at St. Paul Inside the Walls: the Diocesan Center for Evangelization at Bayley-Ellard here. Guided by the theme, “Being a Man for Others,” the evening started with the participating men partaking in a simple meal of soup and bread in observance of Lent — along with fellowship — in St. Paul’s auditorium. Afterward, Msgr. Sylva gave his talk and then all those assembled prayed the Stations of the Cross. The evening was also a homecoming to St. Paul’s for Msgr. Sylva. More than 10 years ago, he began to establish the evangelization center under the vision of Bishop Serratelli.

“Sacrifice is at the very heart of what it means to be a man. Women give life — give birth. Men sacrifice their lives. When we live sacrificially, it is then that we are men most alive for the purpose for which God has created us. Was it not the Son of God, who lived and died [for us]? He was not just a man; he was ‘the’ man,” Msgr. Sylva said. His talk was streamed live on Facebook; the video is still available for viewing on the “St. Paul Inside the Walls” page. “So often we are busy, busy, busy and do we really focus on the vision that God has for our lives — to be men of sacrifice? Without vision, our decisions become all mixed up, because having vision sets our decisions. It’s those decisions that determine our destiny. At the end of our lives, it doesn’t matter what jobs we’ve had; it matters what kind of heart we bring home to face God,” he said.

As he paced St. Paul’s stage, Msgr. Sylva encouraged men to become men of hope — using the emotion of anger and the attribute of courage constructively to conform their lives — and the world — to God’s will. He quoted St. Augustine of Hippo, who wrote, “Hope has two beautiful daughters; their names are Anger and Courage. Anger at the way things are, and Courage to see that they do not remain as they are.” The priest cautioned men against mistaking hope for optimism — an overly sunny view of life.

“What we hope in must be something so difficult to obtain that’s its impossible to obtain on one’s own: eternal life with God —that God will forgive our sins and return us to heaven, according to St. Thomas Aquinas,” said Msgr. Sylva. “Hope is an impossible possibility — a gift that allows us to order our lives to God toward our final salvation. The one, who has hope, lives differently — allowing him to surrender to what God wants for him in his life. Hope allows us to live our lives to the fullest and with joy,” he said.

One of hope’s daughters — anger — has a place in our faith. But we must not let our anger become irrational or simmer into hatred. Instead, men should direct their justifiable anger at injustice in our world, such as babies being aborted, Msgr. Sylva said.

“If we don’t get angry, will we ever get motivated to fix the things that are broken in our world,” said Msgr. Sylva, who called the time when Jesus’ overturned the tables of the moneychangers in the temple a “beautiful example” of constructive anger. “Was Jesus’ Father not a jealous God, who got angry with wickedness and wanted to do away with it, according to Hebrew Scriptures? But God is love. He is angry at our sins but not the sinner,” said the priest, who encouraged men to pray to God, seek his mercy in Confession and regularly receive the Eucharist.

To effect change, men need hope’s other daughter: courage, which enables them to live ethical lives that are grounded in Church teaching. They need courage to acknowledge and speak the truth of God, which helps them see the bigger picture: “What is the purpose of their lives?” said Msgr. Sylva, former executive director of St. Paul’s and former diocesan vicar for evangelization.

“When we sacrifice something, which is good in itself so as to go without; when we speak the truth; and when we suffer for others, we participate in God’s redemption of the world. Isn’t it so wonderful that we as men get to help other people get to heaven?” Msgr. Sylva said. “We are here because of our fathers and grandfathers and we are here for our sons, our children and their children,” he said.

Before Msgr. Sylva’s reflection, a team that consisted of St. Paul’s staff, candidates for the permanent diaconate in the Diocese and volunteers, served bowls of hearty soup to the men, who sat at tables in the auditorium. While the men conversed, Daniel Ferrari, diocesan minister to young adults and a Catholic contemporary recording artist, sang faith-filled music, as he accompanied himself on guitar.

Afterward, Father Paul Manning, current executive director of St. Paul and diocesan vicar for evangelization, led the men in the Stations of the Cross. Assisting were Father Pawel Tomcyzk, diocesan director of Youth Ministry and the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults and chaplain at William Paterson University, Wayne, and Deacon Peter Cistaro of St. Peter the Apostle Parish, Parsippany, who serves as diocesan director of the permanent diaconate.

After Msgr. Sylva’s talk, Father Manning publicly thanked the presenter for his insights, adding, “In this time in the Church, when it’s getting beaten down, I’m inspired by your justifiable anger, vocal courage and enduring hope.”

One man at St. Paul’s that night was Brian Hart, a married father of four from St. Patrick Parish, Chatham. He told The Beacon that Msgr. Sylva “gives me hope and has re-invigorated my Lenten experience.”