St. Valentine: Love, Marriage, and Vocations

BISHOP KEVIN J. SWEENEY

Who was St. Valentine? Did he really exist? Is he just a legend? In this technological age of the internet, when we have questions such as these, it seems that all we need to do is “Google,” type in “St. Valentine” and see what comes up. The first option in my “google search” was an article from the History Channel entitled 6 Surprising Facts about St. Valentine. If you read that article, you will not only read six interesting “facts” (or informed historical opinions) about St. Valentine, but you will also have the opportunity to click on a separate article, entitled Who was the Real St. Valentine?

I think the articles from the History Channel are good, but I think the article that you will find at “Catholic.org” is even better. It includes the following:

“Although not much of St. Valentine’s life is reliably known, and whether or not the stories involve two different saints by the same name is also not officially decided, it is highly agreed that St. Valentine was martyred and then buried on the Via Flaminia to the north of Rome. In 1969, the Roman Catholic Church removed St. Valentine from the General Roman Calendar, because so little is known about him. However, the church still recognizes him as a saint, listing him in the Feb. 14 spot of Roman Martyrology.”

In my ministry as a parish priest, I found that, similar to Halloween (or All Hallows Eve), Valentine’s Day was an opportunity, especially with students and youth, to see how something that has its origins in faith and the Church has now been “commercialized” and, while the holiday is widely accepted by or observed in our culture, it has strayed far from its original meaning and purpose. Exhibit A: If, instead of “Googling” St. Valentine, you Google “Valentine’s Day,” here are your options: Valentine’s gifts, for him, for her, (for kids); Valentine’s Day cards, nails, wallpaper, quotes … (A quick look at the “Valentine’s Day quotes,” in my opinion, leaves a lot to be desired, but you can be your own judge).

These are moments and opportunities for evangelization, as well as reflection and conversation. No matter the approach we may take to “Valentine’s Day” or “St. Valentine,” we can each reflect on the ways in which we are called to love. The occasion of St. Valentine’s Day has led, since 2002, to Feb. 7–14 being recognized as “National Marriage Week.” The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB) has information and resources on its website for the celebration of National Marriage week. There are also resources for the celebration of Sunday, Feb. 13 as “World Marriage Sunday.”

We have become more aware in recent decades of a cultural shift in our society, as our laws, government policy, media, and other influences move further away from a traditional definition and understanding of marriage as an institution and as a Sacrament and vocation. St. Pope Paul VI said, “The mission of being the primary vital cell of society has been given to the family by God himself” (Apostolicam Actuositatem #11). It is through the gift husbands and wives make of themselves to each other daily that society benefits, not only through the rearing of children but also by accompanying them into their lifelong vocation. Despite the cultural challenges, I have been encouraged by the efforts in our parishes and, at the diocesan level, through our Family Life Office at the Evangelization Center at St. Paul Inside the Walls, to provide marriage preparation programs as well as marriage and family resources. I encourage everyone to visit the “Inside the Walls” website to see all that is available.

The celebration of St. Valentine’s Day, again, can be a moment for each of us to reflect on the ways in which we are “called to” as disciples, called by Jesus to “love one another as I have loved you” (Jn 15:12). This “call to love” is part of the “call to holiness” that each of us receives from the moment of our Baptism. In this time of the Synod on Synodality, as we respond to Pope Francis’ call to be a “listening” Church, reflecting on the ways in which we “journey together,” we should realize that we all have a role to play and gifts to share. As we celebrate the Year of the Eucharist in our Diocese, we recall that, in giving us the gift of his own Body and Blood in the Eucharist, Jesus is calling, teaching, and nourishing us so that we might be willing to love even with the “greatest love,” to “lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (Jn 15:13).

Whether in marriage, in the single life, in the priesthood, or consecrated (religious) life, we share this “call to love.” The communion of saints, Valentine or any of the other saints, can be a help to respond to the Lord’s call. When I think of the saints and the call to love or holiness, one of my favorite saints is the “Little Flower,” St. Therese of Lisieux, who teaches us her “little way” of doing “little things with great love.” St. Therese died (at the age of 24) in 1897, so we know a great deal more about her than we know about St. Valentine. She is perhaps best known by the reading of her autobiography, “The Story of a Soul.”

We might ask, “Are there (young) people in our world today who would answer the call to love by living a vocation to the contemplative life, a life of poverty, chastity, and obedience, completely to devoted to prayer?” In last week’s celebration of World Day of Prayer for Consecrated Life, we recognized those who live the vows (or consecration) of poverty, chastity, and obedience. Some of those vocations are more “active” through a particular ministry and others are more “contemplative.” The Carmelites or Order of Our Lady of Mount Carmel is an example of a congregation that has both active and contemplative communities. We are blessed to have two contemplative Carmelite communities here in our Diocese, one in Chester, the Hermits of Our Lady of Mount Carmel, and a Monastery of Discalced Carmelites in Morristown. You can read an article and see photos in this edition of The Beacon that describes a solemn profession that I was privileged to celebrate with the sisters in Morristown this past Saturday. You may be surprised to learn that it was the third solemn profession in that Monastery in the past four months. You can learn more about the Carmel in Morristown here and you can learn about the Carmelite Hermits here.

Not all of us are called to be martyrs (like St. Valentine) and not all of us are called to the contemplative life (like the Carmelites), but we are all called to a vocation, a life of holiness, we are all “called to love.”